February 2012
teacher: what unit of measurement-
me: in daylights
teacher: thats not-
me: in sunsets
me: in midnights
teacher: you cant-
me: in cups of coffee
teacher: thats impossi-
me: in inches
teacher: yes! thats what i-
me: in miles
teacher: but you just-
me: in laughter
me: in strife
teacher: *opens mouth*-
me: in five hundred-twenty five thousand-six hundred minutes
teacher: well in this case you dont measure in ti-
me: how about looooooooooooooooove
teacher: i give up
me: measure in looooooooooove
teacher: out
me: seasons of loooooooooooooooove (attempt to harmonize with myself)
“I love animation because in the world of animation, you can be anything you...”
– CHRIS ROCK, introducing the Best Animated Film Oscar. (via gatsby-lives)
"Regular" marriage and "Gay" marriage are like...
operator: 911, please hold.
me: stop murdering me for a sec
murderer: ok
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
castlesboobs:
When a girl says…
Suck my dick;
When a boy says lick my pussy;
